I have been trying to name my podcast this week. I just want the “perfect” name and words so the women I serve can find me.
Somehow I think the perfect title will be the magic. But, the secret sauce, is the meaning behind the words and how I am showing up and living into them.
This will make all the difference for my soul-mate clients. This makes all the difference everyday for us.
I have seen so many words. So many posts. So many news reports. It is endless, exhausting, and overwhelming. Throw in people pleasing and perfectionism and it’s a huge problem.
In a lot of my sessions my clients are feeling it. They can’t stay away from social media, get down polarizing rabbit holes, and don’t know what to do. How to help. Where to spend their time.
As a recovering people pleaser, I too want to show my support, compassion, and love in all the ways I can. And, I am far enough on my journey to know that if I am showing up out of obligation and shame… it isn’t going to work for our world. Nor for my life’s purpose.
People Pleasing is the hot topic in my group this week. It shows up EVERYWHERE in a lot of our lives. We mistake compassion, love, service for people-pleasing and calling ourselves selfish.
9 out of 10 of my clients have said they are selfish if they focus too much on themselves. Raised in the Christian community I learned that too. I can still see the poster God- Others – You. Prioritize self last.
This is where it gets tricky, because we do need to consider and care for others if we are part of a community. But, as I keep repeating…. We cannot serve from an empty vessel.
We are ineffective and will burn out if we keep going that route.
If we get into the shame cycle, “my problems don’t matter because others have it worse”, or avoiding any form of conflict.
For a long time I thought that was the way to go. Gotta have compassion, gotta give the shirt off my back, gotta be there for others.
Yes. And if you don’t give yourself a healthy dose of that love, it doesn’t work. The result is more guilt, fatigue, and self-doubt.
So, as I sit here… I want to challenge myself, and you the reader. Ask yourself. Are you entering into the world these days with an overflowing cup, with all the tools you need for compassion NOT people pleasing, and are secure in who you are?
Life will be so much more meaningful if you do. And so will your contribution to this world.
I think it’s a good time to hire a coach like me. I help ambitious women like you become boss over their anxiety, people pleasing, and perfectionism so they can live their original life. (without years of therapy to boot). I am a package deal… therapy and coaching tools, working one on one and enjoy my group if you want.
If waiting is your game…. Consider changing your strategy. The world needs you, and you need you.