What are you waiting for?

I have a confession to make. 

 

I waited an hour for my husband to come hang out with me while scrolling Facebook.  Beautiful view, but bored and lonely.  I got mad at myself for wasting that time and at him because how many times can we have the “quality time is my love language” conversation after 20 years of marriage?  And, there is a part of me that just wants to hang on to the anger and WAIT.  Wait for him to figure it out.  When authentically I can only last 2 minutes with the silent treatment.  And all my therapy training says:  Nope. Don’t do it.  
That is where I am at this moment.   Just keeping it real.

 

And, this week is all about authenticity – one of the character traits that I believe will set us free.  The result my clients want even if they don’t say that word exactly.

So, what are you waiting for? 

What is holding you back from authentically feeling and saying what you need?  Or showing up as you?  We checked out a few of them  – people pleasing, perfectionism, etc. last month.  

 

Today, I want to highlight WAITING.   
It really gets in the way of us showing up authentically.  And consistently.  To our lives, our work, or friends and family, and ourselves.  And our feelings, which I have a lot of.
As I gathered my thoughts, I remembered something.  I have a trick – a short cut for you.  To find out what you are really waiting for.  Want to check it out?  I did a live today with my membership group and we talked about this. 
Grab a pen and paper.  Number it 1-10.  Now, list 10 things you are tolerating.  Circle the 3 that annoy you and you wish you could change the most.  
These are sticking points.  Areas of your life, situations, relationships…. that keep you WAITING.

 

My top 3 were:
  1.  Scrolling face book to look for truth for validation (waiting for permission to share or someone to agree with me).
  2.  Not creating fun family time in the schedule (waiting for everyone else to decide).
  3.  Buying and eating too much shit food (waiting “until tomorrow – or next year to take the time to do a quick reset or pause).
  4. And I can add- waiting for QT with my husband (which really means waiting for my husband to meet my needs… ugh… so hard to admit).
This alone is POWERFUL. 
I talk “tolerations” a lot.  And, when you add in – when we tolerate, we wait.  It is even more powerful.  AND, it kinda makes us responsible for it.  Not kinda… REALLY.  Do I want to take responsibility for thinking my husband has to meet my needs?   Noooo.  But when I put it that way, it gives me more power to decide.  To ask for what I need (even if it feels like again), to create more independence, to do something I love.  

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